Binge and emotional eating disorder support groups. Love ‘em or Leave ‘em?
My position: Love ‘em for the initial resonance & support, Leave ‘em before they become toxic.
This is something I have been wanting to get off my chest for awhile now that I keep holding back from doing, because I’ve been too “proceed with caution” like in my approach to all of this. I’ve decided I’m no longer available to walk on eggshells, however, and I have to keep reminding myself that I WENT THROUGH THIS and my experience is just as valid as everyone else’s, even if it doesn’t make sense to everybody.
Over the past year I have experienced MANY binge and emotional eating support groups, and I’ve noticed that the content of the group tends to stay the same. Daily posts from the members about what they are struggling with, and a post thrown in here and there from the admin that might offer some inspiration, or resonance. But that’s it. The same thing over and over again.
This is great, it really is. I was thrown in jail once (did you know that?) for domestic violence because I was trying to protect myself in a toxic situation, and the classes I had to go to were the best thing that ever happened to me. For the first time in my cycle of toxic relationships I actually felt heard, understood, and validated in my feelings. I needed to have that conversation with other souls that GOT IT. Several times over, in fact.
We NEED that, you know? We all need some kind of a safe space where we are able to share the things we feel are too dark or too weird or too shameful to approach in normal conversation. We need to know there are other people out there working through the same things as us. I truly believe this is one of the most powerful ways we can go about healing from anything in life.
Those classes I had to take, however, lasted 6 months, and then they were over..and as much as I missed the girls in it, I knew I needed to move on from the issue so I could take the next step in my healing.
We can’t heal in the same space that makes us sick, remember?
Had I continued to take those classes, I would have continued to give my energy to this thing that had weighed on me for (far too long). Even though it was a healing space when I needed it to be, the conversation had to end for me to move forward.
So this is how I feel about these groups..about everything, really, but more specifically right now about these groups. I have seen people in some of them for the entire year, and they are still struggling with the same things they were 12 months ago.
I struggled with BED and body dysmorphia for 17+ years, and though I found comfort in those groups for a very short time, it wasn’t long before I realized how heavy and hopeless I started to feel every time I engaged. My soul wanted to move forward, and I was way too tired of being sick to not listen. And it’s exactly why I am in this beautiful, free, confident, and healed space that I’m in today.
Sympathetic resonance is beautiful, but it can only get us so far. Talking about this stuff is hard, I know...but talking about the same things over and over again without eventually taking a step to move into a higher vibration is just about as toxic as the thing that we are struggling with. So at some point it comes down to this; You have this difficult thing you are going through and you say you want to heal from it, right? Allow yourself a period of talking, resonating, seeking validation in your pain, and comfort from others going through similar situations, and then make the decision to rise above it. Find a coach or counselor, make your healing a priority. Invest in yourself. Please don’t keep playing victim to your circumstances. You do have the power to change them, and you don’t deserve to suffer.
So guess what? I have a binge eating recovery and emotional well-being support group of my own, but this one is a little different. Of course we talk about what we struggle with, but it’s not a constant conversation. It is a safe, non-judgmental, loving space for anyone who struggles with a poor relationship with food and body, but I try to make sure I am keeping it positive, uplifting, hopeful, and informative. I always have tools and resources to help you take that next step in your journey because I don’t want you to be stuck. I know how that feels, and it’s exhausting.
I focus primarily on mental, emotional, and spiritual health in this group because we don’t have enough support and resources for it, and it is EXACTLY what we are missing in our lives that is causing these unwanted behaviors. Where you are..right now..in this moment...is a physical manifestation of your self-limiting beliefs and not being taught how to care for your emotional and spiritual well-being. As crazy as it may sound..it’s not actually about the food, or your body.
Take that next step in your healing journey.
Find your confidence and happiness.
You deserve it.
P.S. In addition to the group I ALSO have a FREE 3 part video training series you can grab that covers 3 of the most powerful steps you can take to increase your confidence and heal your relationship with food.